So begins an update. Of what, I don't know. But I'm bored and we all know what happens when I'm bored. Okay, so we don't, but I didn't expect that we would. I think it'd be really cool if my work [when I grow up] is to manage and create stuff for a site like HomeStarRunner. It'd be something I think I'd enjoy doing. Of course, that's unrealistic, but it's fun to think about. I also think it'd be fun to be an actor, but the loss of private life would really suck. Like something I've heard somewhere before, the media takes one person's tragedy and makes a spectacle of it. So what am I going to do [when I grow up]? I have no idea. Oh well.
My mom is making dinner. I think it'd be good to learn how to cook. Think about it, you need to eat to survive, and you need to cook to eat. But then again, if I get rich according to plan, I will have no need for food, as I will eat at McDonald's everyday. On second thought, scratch that. I'll just get a wife who knows how to cook Chinese and is coincidentally very attractive. Yeah, that's my plan for life, food-wise. Of course, I'll take her out to dinner every now and then so she doesn't have to cook every single day. Maybe she'll be a chef and that's why she's such a good cook. That appears to be a very time-consuming job, though. I don't know if I want a wife with such a time-consuming job. Alas, I have the solution once more! I'll make all the money designing crazy my crazy website and she'll be only a part-time chef at a very reputable restaurant. Well, I suppose reputable restaurants don't take part-time chefs, do they? Well, in my fictitious world, they would. So once again, my problem is solved. Wow, I'm a pretty good problem solver. Maybe I should give up webpage-designing and just become a professional problem solver. Hourly rate of $1000. Hey, it's not easy solving problems, though I may make it seem so. There's just one area of expertise that I'm definitely not willing to cover, and that's marriages. Don't come to me with your marriage problems, because I'd tell you to get a divorce like all the rest of the Americans in ... America. (?) As oppposed to the Canadians in Canadia! Come on people, get with the program. I have come to the conclusion that all marriage problems are utterly irreconcilable and that marriages persevere primarily on the basis of evanescent memories. If something inciting happens, however, that calls for immediate action, the marriage is screwed. An ironic choice of words if we're talking about, say, an affair. Speaking of which, I spoke with the coquette yesterday. I was relatively nice to her--nicer than I usually am. I remained emotionless like Aaron when her usual burst of unnecessary exuberance exploded upon us. I'm very proud of myself for remaining emotionally stolid. Yes, someone has been studying for the SATs. AGAIN!!! Blast those SATs. They should base admissions to college strictly on grades, classes taken, and extra-curricular activities. And by length of last name, shorter last names getting more points. But last names should only count for maybe 5 - 10% of the total score. Yeah. That sounds pretty good.
So that settles it. I should definitely learn how to cook.