21:13 Thursday, January 15
If you've been around me long enough, you may have heard me [perhaps on more than one occasion] talk about what I will have when I'm rich. I've decided to make a list of all the things, lest I forget them. Most of these have to do with the mansion I'll be living in.
- A gigantic room that is completely white. One like in the first Matrix, ["guns. lots of guns."] only theirs was far more extensive. Someone asked me, and I don't know who so please forgive me if you're reading this, what I would do when it got dirty. That's the worst question ever. I'd just have my people clean it!
- Indoor swimming pool. This is pretty much a given.
- Outdoor swimming pool. In case it's nice outside.
- A room with a really high ceiling and stadium seating on one half. Usable for watching movies or TV, as well as other activities that require high ceilings.
- Firepole running up and down all of my floors. How cool would it be to have a firepole in your house? Think about it: Oh no, I'm late! Take the stairs? Too much physical exhaustion involved. Elevator? The wait is too long. The only rational choice would be to take the firepole. In three seconds, you're at ground zero. If I have kids, they'll just stay on the first floor so they don't fall to their deaths.
- A room made completely out of bed. No square inch of that room is left uncovered. The easiest way to get around in that room is to crawl. Or roll like a snake. No shoes allowed inside, of course. In fact, no shoes allowed in the entire house! What are we, barbarians?
- The master bedroom--mine, of course--will have a refrigerator in it. When you get the rumblies in the tumblies, it's too much of a hassle to take the firepole down to the kitchen. Instead, just walk five feet and get whatever you need right there. It's genius, I tell you!
- A ball pit. I've always thought that ball pits were fun, and this way I can ensure that nobody's peed in it.
I would think of more, but I'm bored. If you ever feel like visiting in the future, just give me a call and we can have some ball pit fun!
