I'm happy wondering.
I remember waking up last year, without a good reason for me to get out of bed. No--not the fact that school started in forty minutes. A reason to compel me out of bed by my own choosing. Live in the present, she said. IS there no tomorrow? Will history end with this very day? What will I have had to show for my time? Yesterday, I helped a complete stranger and it gave me the best feeling. It didn't matter that the task was nothing more than to direct her to C10. When she walked back to the parking lot, I smiled at her and she smiled back at me. The currency of happiness.
I woke up today and thought about whether I had something in my life to compel me to get out of bed. My motivation was hardly worthy of admiration--I wanted to watch the rest of the recorded episode of The Practice that I had not finished last night. It's not quite the passion I had in mind. But still I look for that something. It's still out there, waiting for me to stumble upon it. Something to love. Someone to love. Once you find it, she said, you can't let it go. Don't hold back. Let your hair down. Take risks. Be happy.