Congratulations Aaron Otani!
College news has been a bit dramatic over the past few days. The bottom line is: Aaron Otani got into Yale. They were crazy to even consider not accepting him. What a baller. In the end, though, Yale didn't accept me, nor did Harvard. It's alright, because I would've rejected them right back in the FACE. Take that you East Coast schools! You can take that rejection letter and eat it for breakfast. I want nothing to do with you! Except maybe you Princeton, if you want to accept me. If you don't, same goes for you too. On the other hand, Stanford's showing me the love. They re-accepted me today, and I was very touched that they didn't "regretfully inform me that they are unable to offer me admission to..." You see, it's all about being a tree.
Here's my bit of syllogism for the day. Being attractive makes you popular, yes? Yes. Because people are drawn to you and you find you have much more social power because of it, so you become popular and the like. Just trust me. So if you're attractive, you're going to be inclined to attend more social events because of your popularity. You can't possibly let your social status go to waste so easily! And by attending more social events, your grades begin to suffer, because you will tend not to study as much. This means you'll have less chance of being accepted to a good college such as Yale or Harvard or UC Merced. Okay, so my sense of humor is not appreciated. If the aforementioned is true, perhaps not necessarily in its entirety, that means that the good colleges will be teeming with ugly people who were too ugly to be popular, too unpopular to attend social events, and antisocial enough to make it into a good school. Of course, myself being the anomaly, I'll feel so out of place in the midst of uglies. I'm not sure if I'll be able live without my daily dose of fellow attractive Fresnans. Okay, just kidding. If you took this seriously: 1) you're stupid and 2) the opposite of probably everything I've said here is true so there's no need to worry. Okay, just kidding again. This time about #1. If you took #1 seriously, #1 and 2 apply.