INCIDENTALLY, I STOPPED playing Solitaire not a minute ago with the intention of making a new post-slash-entry. Little did I know, it also happened to be 11:00. If that isn't fate, then I don't know what is. Except for this morning, I was thinking about how 1337 translated to leet, and then a little while ago when I was sorting checks for my mom, I came across a check with the number 1337. Now, that's fate.
People are weird [by my decree] if they don't have two-sneeze sneezes. By this, I'm sure you know that I mean they sneeze in twos whenever they sneeze. I used to have two-sneeze sneezes, but I've noticed that I now do single-sneeze sneezes. This could explain my weirdness. I remember Sudeep did like six- or seven-sneeze sneezes. Now that guy's really messed up. But who knows what he does to his body... Just kidding, Sudeep, if you're reading this or someone you know is reading this and later informs you of what I have written.
I like how a "just kidding" fixes everything, because it really doesn't. Whenever you do something wrong, a just kidding should fix it. It's true though. About 85% of the things I say, I don't mean. That's right. 8.5 out of 10 words I say are entirely tongue-in-cheek. For example, this here sentence is around ten words long. The words "here, around, and ample" were entirely meaningless. Of course, I don't mean meaningless [hey, the irony!] but I can't really think of the word I'm looking for right now. It could be facetious but I don't want to steal Mr Price's thunder.
I've decided that there are ten types of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't. Just kidding. [it's a recurring theme!] Okay I've been trying to think of what two types of people there are in this world, and my creative mind has failed me. You've failed me for the last time!! is what they say, isn't it? At least the evil guy in the bad movie says it. And then he gets crushed and the hero gets the girl. James Bond. Bond Girl. Doesn't he find it strange that her first name is the same as his last name? I've seen people's names in the ending credits of movies with the last name of Gordon. Or people like Jeff Gordon. What if I was Gordon Gordon? It'd be like Erik Erikson and Lenny Leonard and Carl Carlson. That's some pretty funny stuff. Lisa Thomas's dad is Thomas Thomas, I think. Same with her bro. I think. I used to have a crush on her in sixth grade, but I doubt anyone I knew in sixth grade reads this site, so I guess I'm in the clear.
Oh I gotta do stuff now so I'll post this and edit later.
A new beginning! Much like college. College. Wow, all fragments. Speaking of fragments, I find it scary to be suddenly forced to live with some random guy who probably is from the other side of the country [if not the world!] for a whole school year. Here's how I predict [or educatedly guess] it's going to be. It's going to be awkward at first. I'll be like, "Hey. 'Sup." He'll say, "Not much." We'll get all the small talk out of the way like Where are you from? and What kind of music do you like? but after we run out of generic questions to ask about, [get it?] a hushed silence will fall over us. He'll start staring at the ceiling, and I'll start playing with my hair. This will go on for another twenty minutes at least. Then we'll go and get some food. A week passes and we'll acknowledge each other's presence but we won't have a connection as strong as the one that Aaron and I shared. Or Andy or Benton or Soutchay or whoever it is I had a connection with. Seven months pass and we'll say our goodbyes. It'll be fun.
JK, I'm just kidding. Aaron and I never had a connection! Speaking of connection, I am now [hopefully] able to work on my slideshow on my new computer because of the video card that my dad installed for me. GeForce something-or-other! For some reason, I prefer being on my computer even though [until recently] there was little to do on it. Internet. Movies. Solitaire. Occasionally Hearts, which I've lost interest in since the computer always gives me the Queen. Now I'll be able to do everything!
There's a quirk to everybody that makes him or her ... him or her. While some are obvious, like Aaron, others are subtle, like me. As you will see, it's time for another installment of Gordon's Great GLists! I just wanted to utilize the ever-effective alliteration, which the author employs to create a feeling of consistency throughout the passage, thereby emphasizing his theme of the slow progress of time. Don't ask why I started to analyze my own ... anyways. In no particular order.
I'm back. As you can see, this post is going on much longer than one hour, which makes today a very special day. But if all days are special, aren't they just the same and thus non-unique? In regards to being special anyway... But on our walk back from Marie Callender's [at which I ate 1.50 sandwiches! (which is no easy job)] my mom said something about lavish incomes, which led me to thinking about actors and how they have a pretty nice life. Does anyone else find it peculiar that actors, or "players" as they were called back in the day, rose from a pitiful rank in society to the most coveted and worshipped beings in the whole universe?! Somewhere somehow some actor staged a revolution, an actors revolution, and they somehow took hold of the public and shaped society into the world as we know it today. No doubt, by the use of some sort of mind control device, they cajoled the world into loving them, and loved they were!
Take, for instance, a rat. No, something simpler. A gnat. The gnat is a lowly creature on the food chain. He [because all gnats are males, explaining the tremendous success of their species] decides one day that he's had it with the whole life's-not-fair deal and instead turns to carpe diem, a little phrase that I learned meant "Seis the Det." It's French. So the gnat devises the remote control jammer. Now everybody knows that humans love TV and that they also love being lazy. At least the American sort do. So the gnats jam the remote controls and the humans find they can no longer turn on the TV from the comfort of their La-Z-Boy recliners. They find life so unbearable, but the thought of getting up to turn the TV on [or change the channel/volume] is just as burdensome. So the humans bow down to the gnats and do their bidding, and in exchange the gnats allow the humans to have their beloved TV. That kind of represents the actor's rise to glory ... in no way at all.
Now that I've humored myself for twenty minutes, allow me to end this exhaustingly long post with a quote: "Your life, all the things you take for granted ... It's not meant to last." Actually, I don't know if that's right, I was watching T3 two days ago. Two movie things with dialogue that sounds cool. The Matrixes and Kill Bills. You know what's not a good movie? The Medallion. Because of that movie, I now can never take any sad scene seriously. Allow me to explain. Allow me to explain? Allow me to explain. Andy and Soutchay and Sheena know what I'm talking about. There's a sad scene where Claire Forlani thinks Jackie died, [but he didn't!] and she's looking out a window and a piano is playing some sad music in the background. It was pretty bad. Now every sad scene with sad music reminds me of that. I ate a lot of food. Don't read this whole post. It's not worth it.